Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How should one respond to compliments such as "You are so special" and "I'm lucky to have met you" from a guy?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Can you tell me a depressing story?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Are there any industries or sectors where ChatGPT is particularly well-suited for implementation?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Atheists, there is a god up there in heaven and he loves you so much that he sent his son to die the worst death imaginable and then to turn into a zombie all to save you from sin. Why do you reject him?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can count

I see through liars

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why do so many people seem to hate Nickelback? They're competent and entertaining, and while they certainly aren't the absolute best music, they're still a fun listen.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why is there no great temptress figure in any of Tolkien’s major works?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why did Donald Trump look so old during the debate?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes